He's still on the phone with him. This is unnatural. Dudes don't call other dudes just to talk.
chasing shots of tequilla with sun chips. its doable but not recommended
wouldnt it be awesome if walks of shame were like charity walks...you could get sponsors and shit and donate money to curing STDs or cancer
I'm pretty sure my penis yawned halfway through. That loose.
I had sex with her because I didn't want to hurt her feelings.. You're the one who told me I should be more sensitive.
Im sitting alone watching titanic. Drunk. Without pants. Holding a fishing pole. Im pretty sure im okay with all of this.
He sent me a Microsoft outlook meeting request to blow him in the storage room at work. I had to accept.
Just peed in a urinal with another girl. It's that kind of night.
You know what, I don't care that I got too drunk and didn't make it into the boat party. If I had, I probably wouldn't have peed on you later while we soundly slept. I feel you need that in a best friendship.
Can you imagine how doomed are children are? I mean for one they have our genetics and then we will ruin them as parents. It will be the most magical adventure. Let's not start soon, too many adventures at hand that involve immense amounts of alcohol.
And after peeing my pants waiting outside for him, i proceeded to drop down and roll in the nearest puddle to pretend like i just ate shit when he arrived
Seriously??? You send me boob shots with your husband and kids in them???
For our 1st date, he tried to schedule a rock climbing. I suggested, "how about we meet at my place and you can scale Mt. Vagina?"
Feel weird saying this on Facebook, but a dildo collecting demigod sounds like somebody I'd at least hang with for a minute.
The day will come again young grasshopper. For now you must complete your training of patience and tongue biting
Randomize
