how can you tell if its a queef or a fart from that close?
a girl just showed up to class in a zip up hoddie and sweat pants. said she over slept. i guess she got hot and unzipped it , it was only then she realized was sleeping without a shirt or bra.
The only problem is i have violated all potential new years resolutions at the new years party.
you had "tips for anal sex" in your google search history this morning. how was your sunday night?
just because she threw up on my junk doesnt mean i dont like asians anymore
He thinks that since we have been dating six months, that he can do the helicopter with his penis. Not okay.
Can you send me the video of that girl that got arrested last night? I'm gonna try and hit that and I need something to break the ice with.
Should I feel bad that my boyfriend pays for my birth control and his friends get to reap the benefits?
She bellyflopped onto the poolside bar, broke one wine bottle, and stole another...the resort staff just frowned and cleaned up her mess.
he ate me out on his front porch at dawn. i orgasmed when the sun began to rise. most romantic morning booty call ever.
It took him an hour to realize I wasn't this "Sarah" girl, and by then he was already crying and eating pizza rolls.
Selling our snow shovel to buy more beer. Not your brightest idea.
You grabbed my arm, said "I need you" in a very concerned voice and dragged me to the other room where you were blasting Evolution of Beyoncé.
Throwing up into Nora's potty chair while simultaneously having beer shits was truly the highlight of my Christmas season.
Do not tell me I cant do drunk math ever again, AND I made a creative way of telling him I want him to fuck me.
Randomize
