Don't cheat on me with the blonde bimbo religi freak
I wouldn't touch her with a ten foot pole
She's blonde
I just got wrote up for "repeatedly smelling like alcohol"
That was long passed due.
Come on... In this relationship-economy, you gotta have "awesome blowjobs" on your resume.
after watching ten minutes of "the decision," I conclude that King Lebron has more influence on America than Barak Obama. I love our countries values.
The guy in the American Flag bikini was telling the women he was disgusted at the amount of alcohol they weren't drinking. Then it got ridiculous.
He whinnies like a horse when he's cumming. I wish I would have known this before we got into a relationship.
OMG bikini contest at the bar. You can see this one chicks scar from her c-section and I'm pretty sure she is the best of the bunch.
The penis is a tricky weapon to use. When using it as leverage you have to make it seem emotional. I'd rather use it as a club sometimes.
You work today? I woke up with a raging boner that was whispering your name
Know what was probably a bad idea? Using white wine as a mixer for vodka.
I left your tip in your mailbox. Last night was amazing.
I just wanna get hammered somewhere crazy. Meet some chicks. Bang them and then go scuba diving.
Let's say hypothetically if you were going to put icing on a penis and then lick it clean...what would you ice it with? Not a knife right?
I could tell my life story through kermit memes
Look fucker, my sensibility and attention to detail is the ONLY REASON you're not dead now
Randomize
