ya i vaguely remember microwaving a whole package of bacon for 20 minutes or so and then eating it all around 4am
we just watched the ball drop on the spanish channel. best mistake of my life.
she looks like she scalped a horse for her weave
In less than 3 minutes we had 3 security guards running after us
I'm at work, and just realized I the beer smell I keep getting random whiffs of is my bra. I fail at life.
I'm not mad at you for letting me use my air mattress as a toilet, i'm mad at you for letting me lay back down on it.
You had the nerve to crowd surf to your own bedroom.. I guess watching Aladdin high was probably the best idea ever
The tequila covers up the fact that the choco liquor tastes like sadness.
Lusting after Beyonce when you're a lesbian is like having a crush on Jesus. You just don't do it.
Leave it to me to sleep w a guy who gets poison ivy on his dick
If it makes you feel any better they literally are drinking alcohol out of a toilet. They are serving drinks out of a nasty ass toilet...!
I just learned in class that female whales slap their fins against the water and then ten males come and fight for her yet we can't get guys to text us back
Its a good night when you make $200 and didn't have to see any balls
Nxt time we drink that much, we'll have to hide the crayons. Crayola-ing a mural on the living room wall wasnt the brightest idea, but it sure is classy. Right?
You kept singing "your gonna lose that girl" to him right in front of her.. of course you got punched in the face.
Randomize
