sometimes i wish i could find another girl that loves my dick as much as she does
i feel like she has dreams of it being like a person saying hey lets go play
Long story short he broke into a preschool and threw all their cones into a tree.
I just want to know how she convinced 6 sober ROTC guys to have an ab contest on a street corner at 2 in the morning.
BURNT NIPPLES ARE UNHAPPY NIPPLES.
Drinking Patron always ends with me puking or receiving anal. So make your move when I start ordering it.
I saw that you sent me a photo and the first thing out of my mouth was "I swear if it's another photo of a dick poking out of a bubble bath"
Apparently my Ambien addled brain last night actually did decide to go ahead and photoshop you into various animal and human molesting scenarios. That's a hell of a thing to wake up to.
I'm a complete klutz, especially when I get excited. I pee a lot too. I'm like a puppy except I don't pee in the floor.
I've been here 11 months and i just realized i have literally never looked at my apartment/roomates sober
Adulthood is weird i just cleared a check larger than my gross income from 2011 but i also just did coke during my lunch break
COME HERE AND I WILL SUCK YOUR COCK UNDER THE LIGHT OF THIS BEAUTIFUL ELECTRICITY
I was struggling morally, but once I let go, I came pretty hard.
I caught myself caressing my own hand while nurturing a glass of bourbon. I think it's time to get back out there.
Well when I woke up this morning I didn’t think I’d be masturbating to my own LinkedIn profile today but here we are
I might be getting fired on this week so the only option i see for tonight is to get smashed and have an orgy. actually this idea might explain why i'm not an ideal employee.
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