On a scale of one to trashy, how is this: Got drunk, gave a guy a hand job. In the middle of the bar
I think you broke the trashy scale
He's trying to get everyone in the bathtub for a team meeting about how we're gonna find his car. Which is parked outside. Think we should cut him off?
Since you haven't talked to me since the rancid whipped cream fiasco, I'm going to assume we are no longer hooking up. But I need my handcuffs back. ASAP.
It's isn't revenge sex until you've cum on her porcelain doll collection.
he used the hotel microwave to cook the 16" pizza he bought at the walmart deli
He used a "food city great value" card to cut it
Well yes he stayed. He brought Guiness, them he shaved me. It's a long, but beautiful story.
I had sex on the roof of the dorm last night ... I feel like a combination of spiderman and van wilder
He ended up buying the equivalent of dinner at a Mexican place, in weed
sex in a hospital.. check
You know what id love more than anything right now? ..a back rub while eating biscuits and gravy
IT WAS JUST SO LITTLE AND AWKWARDLY FLOPPING BACK AND FORTH
Got arrested last night. My cell mate just added me on Facebook.
You kept running around yelling "I need my pajamas" & then you got naked. Shit just went downhill from there.
1 why did you tell them where i peed last night and 2 where the fuck are you
Guess how much it costs to flush your pants down the toilet?
Randomize
