when im bored during the day i often think, what do people who dont get high do with their day.. i came to the conlcusion that everyone must be getting high
btw.sex in the wood isnt as romantic as it seems.heels kept sinking in the dirt and pine needles were sticking to the fishnets
i wish i had your life
she carries around a jar of peanut butter. "just in case".
Pretty sure I tied my shoes laces together to keep myself from driving drunk. Fell like six times. Keep forgetting
I mean, once you get beat with a dildo you can't look at someone the same
ugh... thank God for ATM withdrawal limits. I was drunk enough to give that weird shaped stripper all of my money while making her cry in the back room.
next photo in the 'cherished memories' series- Jess's bed. Note the vomit actually UNDER the pillows. shes a genius.
I can motorboat myself in this new push-up bra. I need to go out tonight.
can I share that I'd like to fuck him in my new car as a sort of car warming present to myself?
It'll be a pair of asscheeks that light up when they're summoned.
Is it weird that i want a guy to ask me to homecoming by spelling it out in meatballs?
THATS VERY WEIRD
Tonight I celebrated marriage equality by letting a girl I don't know kiss me at the club.
I wish there was a morning after pill for dominoes.
Strip club or gay bar tonight?
I am an emotionally compromised bisexual.
Remember when we used to smoke out of an apple at the playground? Those were some precious moments
I had sex in the tube at that same playground once. That park is full of memories.
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