Why do all fat girls have "that smell"?
Went to bed at 4 in a strangers bed. woke up wearing scrubs, realized i was gonna be late for work so i just wore the same clothes as the day before... i don't have a toothbrush and im pretty sure there is leftover semen in my mouth. at some point i think i was at the beach cuz theres is sand in my underwear. i love newport already.
BROstal carolina. Watching a boy drinking rum and coke out of a cup of noodle empty cup.
I love girls that fake tan. Can you say p p p p p p p p pumpkin face
he told me he saved a turtle in the middle of the road.. i told him id be over in ten minutes...i mean he deserves a bj after that.
mom just told me i had to find a fake by next wednesday.
I honestly didn't see the problem playing beer pong In the car on the road trip home.
So hungover. I'm getting too old for trolloping around in disco shorts going shot for shot with well behaved underclassmen in an effort to lure them to the dark side of alcoholism and liver failure.
You go to bars with sophisticated older men, I steal lawn ornaments. Priorities
You climbed on top of the bar, shotgunned a 25oz fosters and screamed, Steve Irwin was a God amongst men.
Yes, he does have a boomerang dick. No matter how many times I throw it away, it keeps coming right back and winds up hitting me in the head.
Im sorry you'll never get the feeling of closeness when you go to pee outside and you realize you're peeing right where someone else just peed
We only initially bonded over boobs and sarcasm
Is it sad to eat a candy bra by yourself?
What time is our conjugal visit?
Umm...who is this?
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