Don't cheat on me with the blonde bimbo religi freak
I wouldn't touch her with a ten foot pole
She's blonde
also, i may or may not be wearing a cape right now. hint: i am.
i did the 'picked up item' thing from zelda when i jizzed on her face
so you're single again?
yea but it was worth it
after we had sex last night he told me he smelled like my vagina. and then he said that if his roommate had a vagina he would probably smell like it. because "they hug weird and shit."
suddenly, hermaphrodite night sounds like a really bad idea
There's a Sam Adams brew house. How were we not supposed to go
The two guys from next door helped him do a backflip. The ended up throwing him halfway through a ceiling tile. Don't worry, we fixed it with duct tape.
she made sit in a corner, drink nothing but water and told me she was worried about me because i picked up an irish guy at a taxi rank. says the girl who invented tequila night and fucked a guy in a park across the street from a sweet sixteenth.
Look, the fact that I didn't kick him out and rip your clothes off speaks very highly of me.
He said I could liberate his beef and all I could think about was how I don't eat veal for political reasons.
I had to sit there with his three fat aunts talking about a bunch of 50 Shades knockoff books.
I felt like a taxi, but my meter was running up minutes he would be eating me out that night.
It's midsummers eve. A.k.a. come over so we can get drunk and wear leaf crowns
Realistically you can't tell me you're gonna put mashed potatoes on your dick and expect me not to get excited
All I've done today is nap, eat candy and get off from my vibrator. I didn't know it was possible to be THIS single.
on the bright side i found your panties and the lid to the nutella
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