my last 3 google searches were anal itchy vagina and ice cubes
She’s leaving for college so I made her a gift basket with all the essentials. You know- Ramen, a 12 pack of PBR, some leftover Plan B pills and a laminated business card for a good lawyer. Damn I’m a good big sister.
His dick was so small it sat perched on top of his balls like it was king of his scrotum.
Its 11am everyones wasted wearing sombreros and eating fresh produce..cesar chavez would be very proud
Found out why they call her Halfpipe Jenny-NOT the cool reason we thought
Just to an Octoberfest and a sex party. Nothing wild.
Well I'm going to hell. But I'm going after multiple orgasms.
My neck is PURPLE. This is NOT a good day to be indoctrinated by the cardinal...
I had sex in an engineering office last night. So that could be your life. I was mounted on top of a sketch of a future parking lot for a maintenance building. If that's not romantic, idk what is
I think the sex rug burn on my back is infected, can you check it out when you get home?
Part of my tooth flew in my eye when the dentist was drilling my cavity then I was sent to the ER. Fucking never going back
Literally I can feel my heart beat in my vagina because of how sore I am
How do you nicely stand up a date that you're skipping for a 3sum
Live it up bro, they're always so surprised to find out you use magnums, being such a tiny man and all. It's a good thing.
Just fucked my ex's brother. It is clear I dated the wrong one. Is it wrong for me to continue to fuck this one?
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