Everything was going good until she wanted to update her status...You forgot to close pterodactyl porn from this morning. Clothes went back on.
He was in a gay KY jelly commercial. Jew male model. Reasons not to sleep with him. Go.
I had fun. Till he melissa etheridged my ass and came to my window.
there is no 'pace myself' on the blackout express
Found a dirty envelope on my seat w ur name and $122.50 written on the front. Nothing inside but what looks like dirty pine needles
Dude just read our convo. Apparently I was talking to you while I was naked. She wasn't happy about it.
I think I actually have rug burn on my eye.
This is how I ended up being the slutty friend isn't it?
Sorry for eating those cheese fries out of your hands last night
This text is addressed to sober me: getting drunk by yourself may have seemed like a Good idea at first bit it can tell you that it wasn't ad fun as you thought it would be
Ps your lap top bag is FULL of empty beets
Sorrye. The bathtuv says hi. But theresno water in it. I've wanted too tell you for the longest, but nevr could
He wore socks while I was giving him head. I couldn't even focus on his penis because of the socks.
It's like the drive of shame on fucking Christmas. Happy birthday Jesus
look when god gives you a dick that good for his son's birthday you don't question it
Passed out in someones front yard last night. Got woke u?p by a lady walking her dog at 6am. Rock bottom.
Randomize
