It's not littering; it's giving birds nest building suplies. Besides, birds love soy sauce and plastic forks.
I think the recipie for awesome sauce is butter and semen
I think I'm going to die by hangover. I'm in my spanish class. So I guess I'm going to be muerte.
so the party was at my house but some how i ended up being the only one who slept outside
He was standing in the front door with a kareoke machine yelling at the neighbors as the unloaded their van
I got carried to one bar. Got a piggy back ride to the next bar. I was just testing our drinking team for st pattys day to make sure they are able to handle me more drunk than that.
The least you could do is send me some gibberish so I know you're alive.
Fuhga
Thank you.
I would just like to go ahead and accept my slut of the year award.
It's like 10 times better than an Oscar
I've found myself wondering why I WASN'T naked before, but I generally always know why I am naked. Except now. WHY THE FUCK ARE WE ALL NAKED
You know the party's good when you say "Never have I ever caused an emergency landing" and someone drinks
He woke me up because I was snoring and went for a second round. First time I'm happy that I snore
I've been continuously high for the last 48 hours, and just broke my 4th vibrator. Coincidence? FIND ME A MAN I BEG OF YOU.
Well I can cross 'get my dick slathered in coconut oil while watching the bob's burgers porn parody' off my bucket list.
She puked off the side of the cruise ship onto a newlyweds balcony table and they watched it all happen then they made her clean it up
Hungover on St. Patrick's Day. I did this backwards.
Randomize