hipster in red sally jessy raphael glasses inside. kick her.
Buhtt sex?
i thought i was pinching her nipple. It was her mole
so we had a 20 minute conversation and created the fb page WWND (what would Nana do?) last night after we took our Ambien...that is my definition of an overachiever
which bright sisters idea was it to put semi-formal in the middle of no-shave november?
Is a wave an appropriate goodbye when your one night stand wakes up and walks out towards the door while you are looking through the garbage for the evidence of a condom?
The best part of that night wasn't even the sex, it was listening to her explain to her boyfriend why she was naked in her room while I hid in her closet.
I found my hair extensions. They were in my hamper.
If the ex isent in town and im crying under a table somewhere because of it can we go to a drag show or something
I've been here 11 months and i just realized i have literally never looked at my apartment/roomates sober
Well if I can't snuggle you, I might as well snuggle a stranger's cat.
what color bed sheets say meditative warrior but also welcome to my sex dungeon...
navy blue
The fact that you have an answer to that is why we are friends...
are you inviting me to ice cream?
the subtext of everything i say to you is inviting you to ice cream
It’s bad enough my brother slept with half of the sorority this year, but now he’s lifeguarding at the club and every divorcée and cougar in town is asking me for his number. My twin is a manwhore and I’ve become his pimp.
I get sad thinking about all the sex I’m missing out on because of the virus
I instituted “quarantine and chill” months ago. It’s not like penises go soft just because they’re working at home.
Randomize
