8am blowjobs give a whole new meaning to morning breath..
I thought all girls wanted is to get a boner
you want to re-phrase that?
ISS teacher has a tramp stamp.
Shotgun.
Theres dried jager, barbecue sauce and frie remnants all over my front seat.
You realize at the bar last night we blew on imaginary whistles like rose from titanic right?
High Amy loves you. Sober Amy is unsure, but she's not here so fuck that bitch.
I was just laying in bed wondering if there's more important things in life than cheese stuffed pretzels.
You should have totally come, I started watering down vodka with cider. I have lost the sense of taste.
well after pounding on the ceiling for 5 mins i just went up there to tell them to shut up.. 2 hours later i'm naked, high, lying on their kitchen floor. it escalated so quickly
Things are very odd on my 29th hour of being awake. Thought there was a bird in my lecture hall and it was just a girl putting up her hair. What even
THIS MOTHERFUCKING ROOSTER
IT KEEPS CHASING ME BACK IN THE HOUSE
FUCK THIS BIRD
sorry for showing your butt to the bar
sorry for licking your cheek
Haha holy fuck. i dont remember much after pissing on your ex's flaming nude pics.
just said thank you to the lady who gave me a body search at the airport
man do I wish I knew who this naked guy in my room was...
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