i just sat at a stop sign for 10 minutes waiting for it to turn green. i need to STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT.
Why would I want to inherit a sex machine used by my grandma?
I'm totally counting that party when he kept putting his hands down my pants as a date.
Things are going great. I have tons of beer, margaritas, and theres an inflatable swan in the mix.
while you've been gone this has kinda turned into some sort of fivesome-type thing. just thought i should warn you for when you get back
Do me a favor? If you get with him, please lick his abs. Someone has too they're just too beautiful not to.
I will pre answer that I did not see it the fun way. He was peeing outside.
No he's here. We were watching Harry Potter stoned as shit and he fell asleep with his head in my lap. I'll figure out what to do with him after Harry gives Dobby the sock.
I just did the walk of shame..with a blanket and a cup that says i will out drink all you bitches. This was not how i pictured 25.
I'm slightly more gay than I thought. I'd go so far as to say I'm a top.
I think you should just bang him and get it out of your system.
That's what you say about everyone.
I truly wish I could say I pulled my groin straddling our cab driver but unfortunately I cannot
I need my daily rules like rule one don't put your dick in the vacuum cleaner
At this point it's more of an experiment to see how much actual bush growth is possible. See, being single can be both educational and surprisingly comfy!
Is "You've never made me cum." an acceptable breakup line?
Randomize
