My Blind Date Arrived. She looks like something I'd draw with my left hand.
Id pretty much put it in anything at this point. Jello. Dogs. 12 year old boys
why didn't we just drop out of school years ago and become dominatrix bitches who beat men?
I don't know but we should still do that
i just hate vaginas for liking penis's insside them
I've come to notice a late period isn't as exciting when you have no reason to worry
you were having sex in the bathroom so i pee'd in your bong water...
he threw up all over himself while laying down.. it was like watching old faithful, but with noodles and vodka
You have permanently scared my back with your nails. I would like to congratulate you on a job well done.
He walked straight into the wall, said "excuse me ma'am" and continued back to his dorm room.
He kept singing Happy Birthday to himself, yelling at the bouncers for not letting him in, and telling them his "father will hear of this." He was like a drunken Scottish Draco Malfoy.
I just handed a girl a slice of pizza and she handed me her number. Is this how Vegas hookups normally begin?
Good. Sleepy. In the middle of a pregnancy scare. The usual.
I was thinking about the biological process causing me to puke while I was puking. THAT'S how much I'd been studying.
I'm at the store buying a new phone cause I pissed all over mine last night. Drunk me is expensive as shit.
And I hope you're not misinterpreting us fucking as me trying to win you back. The sex is good and girls have needs.
Randomize
