...so how do you feel about living with a lesbian next year?
hhaha i just laughed out loud when i read that
is that a "i laughed because im fine with it" or "im a republican" ?
You hit on the cop telling him you were celebrating the anniversary of your 21st birthday and ur boob job... That's how he got ur #
ah tequila...
I'm currently bartering with this guy so I can fuck his bi girlfriend. We're at 5 pizzas and he gets to watch us make-out.
Weekday college schedule so far: get high as tits. Watch Family Guy marathons. Repeat.
Empowerment dancing to Touch Me in the Morning by Diana Ross. Handling this breakup SO well.
i don't know what part of 'duct tape bikini waxes' seemed even a little okay in our drunk minds, but i'm never drinking with your sister again
I made that picture of you my lock screen. So I've just been standing around at work licking my phone all day.
The great part about clubs is that you can fart everywhere and nobody knows! The bad part is I'm on e and i have nobody to fondle.
Apparently there's nothing on sonza for "giving a handjob while sunbathing"
It has gotten to a point where I just want to sit on his face. Less butterflies, more orgasms.
My ex's new girlfriends ex boyfriend is getting me my nipples pierced for Valentine's Day so who's the real winner here
I'm like 'WOMAN, YOU'RE 62, RESHEATH THOSE COUGAR CLAWS.'
He fired me, I fucked his wife, we're even I think...
I'm eating chicken wings naked and hungover at 10am... Happy bday to me
What's a really polite way of saying "you have gravely overestimated the value of your vagina?"
Randomize
