sorry about last night, sometimes people just get drunk and have sex witht heir friends
I know, I was there.
He quoted an N'sync song to confess his attraction to me. Needless to say, I had sex with him.
Black out sex on the trampoline? yes please.
pretty sure that I broke my nose during sexting. Life is grand.
The fact that I am sitting home writing a resume while you're out inducing vomiting makes me feel like way more of an adult than I'm ready to be.
Thanks for talking me down from peeing on his window last night.
I am now curious as to how you would have aimed.
I get hit on by the prison guards every time i go to see him. Seriously.
I think the last straw was when you put on ice skates to go across the waxed wooden floor.
I just got a get of my turf look from a hooker. Apparently, Ninja Turtles T-shirt+Jeans+Flip-Flops=Hooker Gear. Woot.
If you hear a loud thud and smell ozone, I may have been electrocuted.
WHY DID HE INTRODUCE ME TO HIS MOM? CAN'T HE JUST HIDE ME LIKE EVERYONE ELSE I'VE EVER DATED?@!
he yelled at me like a drill sergeant while I quickly tried to take off my pants
Life if anyone rolls up to my funeral with shitty weed get them out of there
I'm sorry I keep drunk texting your boyfriend sports updates.
That's okay. He needs friends too.
So this is what bad decisions tastes like...
Randomize
