So she started giving everyone lap dances, and i was like "i think i like this chick"
Dude, this place has 10% alcohol beer on tap. It's like God's semen.
There was an audience eating triscuts and bananas in the bathroom while watching him puke. It was a good birthday.
So apparently after he gets hammered, falls down a set of stairs and gets a concussion, he can still come home and find a way to play his guitar solo bullshit as loud as possible while i seduce my date...
You missed practice last night. You owe at least 8 hours of liver sprints.
ya i guess you have to take things with a grain of salt in a place where nipple clamps are the norm..
With your fertility you would just get contact pregnant
I'm taking a dab in mourning of how long its been since I smoked with you guys.
I actually feel a twinge of sadness recycling all of our handles... I feel like I'm throwing out some great memories or lack of them because we don't remember
We did Irish Car Bombs out of butter trays, the influence of the retired community is astounding- I didn't know people even owned more than one butter tray.
I wore a shirt that says "more tequila" to my bday party last year and that's why I want to be my own friend
My neighbor came out@4am in a pink nite gown n clotheslined a punk on a mo-ped w/her mop handle, then just walked back in her house like she just checked the mail. MILF 1 PUNK 0
The way I see it, there's 2 types of friends. Those you should do drugs with, and those you really,really shouldn't.
OMG OMG OMG Ive hit the penis jackpot
It seriously took everything in my power not to sleep with him
What did it come out and serenade you? Lol
It sang to me in the dark. It was magical
CTFD. There’s plenty of dick in the sea! This is Vegas, we import dick. \nWorst case scenario we get a rental penis
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