shit! I think I may have lost something in your car. Look for anything that can possibly belong to me, especially look out for a pair of pink panties in a ziplock. I lost my spare and you better find it before someone else does.
I cant take that shot because i want my penis to stay hard.
Well i just wrestled a cop... p.s. i won
she is the kim kardashian of front butts
You should make it a point to use vocabulary that is competition appropriate around him, like "champion" and "training" and "victory sex"
Just did coke off of a cross necklace and am headed to the strip club. Happy Easter!
Very excited! Vodka will be shot, dicks will be ridden, and memories made.
before the moonshine you were already braiding the bouncers beard -_-
If I come home tho and find u passed out naked in my bed with the bottle of crown empty, we're gonna have issues.
I'm sorry, I can't help the fact that I like to sleep naked, and I like booze, together it looks bad, yes.
I haven't been this unsober in a long time. I feel like I am observing myself. Like I am a test subject for alcohol. I wish my brain would shut up and let me be a normal drunk.
This is gonna be a long day for my vagina and I
I like to listen to classical music when I eat taco bell. I think it cancels out the aura of poverty and desperation.
if by making eggnog you mean drinking all the spiced rum, then yes, she's making eggnog
I just broke into my house with a butter knife. It kinda scares me just how easy that was.
It’s a hundred kinds of wrong to do Jell-O shots at home alone. Right?
I support drinking alone. But Jell-O shots. That’s a game changer.
Randomize
