Text me right after you finish, I want to know how the ghetto fleshlight worked out
How about I just call you while I'm doing it so you can hear my reaction?
Street performer on bourbon st just lifted a sewer top so I could puke down it. I love New Orleans.
Church boner. Awkwardddd
just woke up face down in my kitchen covered in cheetos. my mom just stepped over me to get to the coffee maker. hello summer
That was the most comfortable bag of doritos I have ever slept on!
I found out you can't leave the bar with a drink. I also found out that pouring it on the bouncers shoes is also unacceptable.
Walk of Shame'd halfway down a mountain, skiiers passing. Do not drink with lifties at the end of ski season.
Also txt me when you take your first dump of the year... I'd like to synchronize if that's at all possible.
I'd say I'd distract him, but I lose my psychic powers when guys get girlfriends. And by psychic powers I mean taking off my top.
You always have that cute deer in the headlights look. Thats what made showing you my penis for the first time so disconcerting.
I was wondering, is there any way to hook up a lawn hose to a keg?
He's got the most well kempt beard I've ever seen and I need it between my thighs is basically what I'm saying
What, That's like a total 7 inches of cock and 6 are from Joe. Don't be mad at me because you had the lamest orgy ever.
I want to meet people. Preferably ones with penises
beach body workouts will consist of dancing and cocaine, and sugar free redbull
Randomize
