The best thing happened. Some guy was butchering Conway Twitty at karoke and the power went off in the whole bar. And someone shouted "you pissed jesus off when you messed with conway!"
Threesome last night. Not that cool, you tend to pick a favorite.
i convinced her that her period would come back if we did it doggy style
Do you remember calling yourself Captain Cockblock and openly giving out everyones sexual history? Because you did.
The floor and the wall just switched. I'm falling.
My aunt left me alone with the instructions to "get waisted" by the time she returns. I love drunk aunt.
There are grandparents doing keg stands I don't know
The only monogamous relationship I can keep is with my eyebrow lady...
Is it too soon for me to wonder what sex with him would be like?
Go have fun. I'm gonna go shower off the regret.
I see your boobs were ready to greet the new year.
He was so energetic. It was like screwing a bunny.
Honestly the prospect of dick really lifts a girl's spirits
You came in yelling "I'm el scorcho" and then axe can flamethrowered my dresser. Awesomeness aside, you owe me a new dresser.
You mom sent me some article linking anal sex, damaged prostates and sterility. Does she still think your gonna go straight and have kids one day?
Randomize
