Call me Kermit cause I'm about to go piggin
I think his glow in the dark Star Wars sheets, at the time, really turned me on.
Every perfect package comes with a warning label.
i realized boys travel in groups of 3's and girls travel in 4's..thats why it gets so tricky
like hot dogs and buns.
I just woke up naked clutching a Taco Bell bag.
I don't know what to be prouder of: the fact that last night i was able to successfully find my way home from evanston with 3-d glasses on, or that i was able to make my way around my house in the dark with my pants around my ankles
On a scale of 1 to 3, with 1 being the smallest and 3 being the largest, what size nipple pasty do you think I am?
She wouldn't put out on the first date. I think my boner put a hole in my mattress.
I think I just wrote a poem about your penis but it was totally unintentional.
Is the party worth it?
I am drink. Beer pony and singing.
But now he's gone and I'm exhausted and my vagina is yelling at me and I want a cheeseburger
she was concerned about my dick piercings.
I told my dad that he was in a band and he was all like " good job" and then he looked up the band and listened to their music and just went " oh have you disappointed me"
If you gave someone an std. would you say a muffin basket, a candy gram or an edible arrangement is a better choice to send them?
Well the hawks lost... so, of course, the only logical course of action was a bonfire in the middle of the street.
Randomize
