She's the only one so far who hasn't laughed at me naked.... I'm gonna marry her.
She's like the pied piper of lesbians.
he asked me if i would dance for him to make it easier for him to jack off. does that answer your question.
When the doctor said the anal leakage might not be reversible without some lifestyle changes you start asking if it's worth the entertainment value.
Woah there. I lasted a semester and a fourth of college not having sex. trust me when i say keeping my virginity was an obstacle course of olympic proportions.
The virgin olympics. I would win the gold. For America.
I may or may not have just ruined a marriage. But in my defense I got all my drinks for free tonight.
I had him autograph the condom wrapper.
Why do I have a missed call from "The Anaconda" ?
GOOD MORNING. Have you seen the Avenger vibrators?
I told him that I wanted his dick like I wanted a jumbo hot dog. There something wrong with my priorities
But of course I'm in. After all, what fun would the holidays be without trying to find the perfect gift to impress someone you've never met, but need the approval of??
He goes from zero to fucking up in 2.4 drinks. Like the sportscar of bad decision making.
I share a birthday weekend with Easter this year, so that fucking sucks. I hate sharing...and I have to share with fucking Jesus this year.\n
She woke up, peed in the sink and then passed out again, it's only 2 in the afternoon
God. Spice Girls is now grocery store demographic. Kill me.
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