look, i may have sacrified a 20% assignment for a sprite. this is what hangovers do to me.
Found a bar with a washer and dryer and they serve food. I never have to leave
I kept feeling my boobs..just to make sure they were still there.
No I am not eating basil off your cock
had my ear almost bitten off in foreplay. the sex gods do not like me.
In the 30 seconds it took me to leave the bar I let the barback motorboat me, ripped open a stranger's shirt and bit his chest, then made out with El Camino dude. No, I'm not coming out tonight.
Just put your hair in a bun. We're going out to drink, not to impress people.
There where 3 half naked girls passed out on the pool table, I crawled under it and just as I was about to go to sleep some guy walks up and says: "dude nice spot" walks away and comes back with a pillow.
I'm just walking around Lowe's groping the carpets....
Impressive. I've never gotten straight denied and then chased the guy naked out of my own apt. I'll remember that next time.
Let's make an agreement. No drugs until you finish all your homework. I'm hiding them as we speak.
I just asked him what would happen if my boobs fought crime. I think I'm cut off.
He went down on me for an hour and a half. He needs to get promoted more often.
is it bad that I'm more worried about having to take out my piercings than the fact that I might be having a kid
Woke up with a throbbing vagina and a lesbian in my bed. Then for the hell of it we had morning sex. Definitley bisexual now
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