I have no morals, kinda like you have no standards
None
Definitely got drunk and sent her a literal picture of my asshole. I titled it " you"
She looked at my facebook and decided to bump the security deposit up an extra 250...now we have to destroy the house, its expected and I wouldn't want to disappoint
The only requirement is that his name is Kevin... All other factors don't matter to drunk me. Drunk me likey Kevins.
let's remember the whole point of NYE: to drink antisocial amounts of antisocial drinks, become incoherent, ruin a carpet, talk to a tree, wake up with head sellotaped to toilet. The where/how is superfluous, my vote goes to a cupboard and a bottle of jaeger Questions?
Nothing quite like coming out of an alcohol induced blackout walking down Spruill Avenue carrying a silver briefcase full of IT tools you don't know where they came from. This is my life.
Friends don't let friends drunk sleep in the dorm common room
All i hear is "BITCH BETTER HAVE MY HONEY" and i turn around and there is a dude in a bear costume. It was fur real.
In case you were wondering, yes I did just watch the Katy Perry movie alone on a Saturday night. I'm so alone it makes a noise.
The last time I went to Vegas and the sun started to rise, my copilot went home with her nipples pierced.
I need you to teach me how to be roommates with somebody I'm not fucking.
Paycheck hits in 37 minutes and I literally just emptied my handle of Tito's. If that isn't budgeting like a fucking adult, I don't know what is.
They were so sore! Either I have bed bugs or you were biting my nipples last night and don't lie to me.
The prescription the hospital gave me for pain and nausea doubles for my hangovers... Maybe I'll hit up the ER more often
I'm at forever 21 and someone pooped in the dressing room.
Randomize
