My balls are about to become a huge part of your mouth's life
This fat girl in front of me just got on the bus to go 2 blocks. Do you think she ever wonders why shes fat?
i hit her car. ill just send her a farmville gift in the morning. then it'll be alright.
she's laying in my bed with an ice pack on her vagina. how do you think it went?
So I just tried to wake him up with a blow job and he literally touched the top of my head and said snooze button
she bonged a coffee cause she was hungover. then she bonged a beer cause she got ambitious. then she barfed. then she had to start over again.
Listen, everyone has a price and mine is free taco bell.
When I eventually hook up with a resident lets refer to it as taking a hands on approach to my job
Not drinking has really freed up a lot of my time. I made a bracelet yesterday. I miss bars.
I gasped. Both pairs of lips did.
Thats alot of pressure.
Just on your vagina. BTW I'm passing your house.
You were doing bacon vodka shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce. You're officially fucking disgusting. I love you.
I just woke up and there was a condom wrapper stuck in my hair. This is my life.
Didn't you sleepover at your grandparents?
She texted me this morning asking why all of her house pillows were inside her mini-van.
So thats where i built my buckingham palace
Ps can u get with my cousin? He's a freshman at uconn and he's very attractive but like were related....
Randomize
