I can't get out of the parking garage so now I'm staying downtown....Typical
she danced around my room naked waving around the gold trojan magnum condoms singing "i have the golden ticket."
little did she know i was taping her the whole time.
I head back to the dorms in less than a week I'm not ready to see my roomate naked that much again.
She's yelling about threesomes and realllly wants you to come over. Put the pieces together.
We should have cut you off when you asked the can driver if you could ride in the trunk.
We're in ER. He's high on morphine and I'm drunk. Gonna score some bed pans for jello shots.
Whenever there is a ShotSki involved, I have no excuse but to drink, right? It's like a rule.
So I passed out with my boxers on in the hotel jacuzzi at 5am.. The manager who kicked me out was pretty cute so I left my name and number for her at the front desk. I'm giving it a 50/50 she calls.
In this town being related to a brewing family or the owner of a sports team is like being royalty. It's like hooking up with the queen's nephew or something.
k. The important thing is we are going out. You are stones. I am mildly hallucenating.
I have just been informed that my company has ray guns. I WORK FOR ACTUAL BOND VILLAINS. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I'd rather explain to the cops why I'm naked than why I'm drunk.
did you call me last night and say you were being kidnapped?
He's a downgrade and it was quick. But it was dick nonetheless.
Still had our rainbow strip poker new years tradition. End of night we were only wearing mask.
Did you get the usual surprise pics from the strange straight you like to sprinkle in.
Randomize