mmm... i enjoy making beautiful women smile
i just snorted my name. best moment ever
How do I recover from singing "your body is a wonderland" on his voicemail?
Come on, video tape it. Take one for the team
well after we realized that his best friend and my twin sister were hooking up it was kind of an unsopken agreement that we would too
If I could have all the money back from the pregnancy test i've bought- I could buy myself a vacation.
Or a large amount of condoms?!?
Nope, I'm sticking to passive aggressive punishments. Like mismatching his socks and cumming on his leather couch. OCD is so wonderful.
He asked me to spit in his mouth. I did. Never let me hook up with this guy again.
We'll just charge in there, all pant less and fabulous demanding he give back her ferret.
There were 7 of us cowering in the kitchen because you were swinging a giant, pink double headed dildo around like a nunchuk and hitting anyone who came near you with it.
There are no winners in a lube eating competition.
Just did body shot off a midget. Pretty good start.
Fucked him in a graveyard. Need plan b.
Do not tell me I cant do drunk math ever again, AND I made a creative way of telling him I want him to fuck me.
Is it wrong to want to use the Dark Web to buy Vyvance for legitimate purposes?
Randomize
