i am pregamming alone in my car. scale of 1-10 how alcoholic is that
im pretty sure thats an 11
Shark Week. Kick off begins Sunday. The drinking game has been upgraded to include jumping/breaching sharks and Jake's not allowed to bring the harpoon. Period.
Found a pint glass in my snow pants.
My right boob is officially about a handful while my left is 1 and 3/4 handfuls. I'm staring at the mirror falling into a deep depression.
hey did i steal that bike before or after the ball dropped, casue i might have broken my resolution already
I feel eeeverything like there's a rhythm and everything can be felt w/o ever touching it. And it's beautiful. Sunshine or raindrops it's like orgasming. Everything has a taste.
Dude she broke four ribs, how does a 110 lb girl break four of my ribs during sex?! It hurts so bad but was so worth it
I swear she's a drunk klepto...by the end of the night she had stolen 3 bowling balls. HOW DO YOU STEAL 3 BOWLING BALLS?
Thank god I didn't get free from the hospital restraints. I wouldent have lasted long drunk, startled and in an ass-less gown In D.C.
how many ponies have to be on my pajama pants to convince him im gay?
i think we need a new approach.
Definitely thought about throwing up in the cat box since it's not as far to the bathroom..
Too much dab too little lung dying šµšµšµ
Hey does the gas gauge in your car work?
Nevermind...we figured it out. Heres a more relevant question, does your insurance have roadside assistance?
I was told I was gorgeous and a whore by the drag queens. My night is complete.
I think i got beer on your cat.
Randomize
