im officially scared..,i finally realized who my boyfriend reminds me of! spencer pratt
I have show me your genitals stuck in my head. Except in spanish. Muestrame tus genitals. Tus genitals.
Her sex list was a LOT longer than mine. She tried to justify it by saying '4 of those don't count because they were in the gang bang'.
we were in your room and your mom was singing twinkle twinkle little star in the hallway. so you decided to scream "twinkle? TWINKLE! What Fucking little star?!"
I actually had to roll up my long sleeves to masturbate. I hate the winter
He took out the lube and started calling it fuck fluid
No it's ok. I made friends with the guy that always wears helmets to the bar. His name is helmet Harry
Whatever. I'm just trying to get my dick sucked while taking online harmonica lessons
Tried to figure out where I was without opening my eyes this morning for like twenty minutes. Not even close. Not even the right state.
He walked into the pizza shop... Pulled the fire alarm.. And proceeded to dance to it...
I told her the party couldn't handle my playlist LAZERBAWLS and I was right. Cops in the basement, orgy in the kitchen, jousting in the living room.
I'm working on a search warrant...can u pick up box of Chardonnay...I'll give u cash when u get here...
Yea... I love that ur a prosecutor and drink box wine
If I wear a tail on Halloween, how am I supposed to grind? Maybe I will just wear devil horns
girl pulled up to the stop sign, got out, threw up all over my hood said happy thanksgiving then drove off
You gotta have 1 orgasm for me and the rest can be for you. I'm living vicariously through you 😂
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