Most awkward thing ever just happened. I was reaching in my purse to get something and a condom fell out into the woman's lap next to me. At least she knows I'm safe.
all we need is a shotglass and a helicopter.
My insides feel lik shag carpet. It is awesome
Anyway, my grandfather thinks you're attractive
all i know is that each time we woke up we were at a different chinese restaurant. help.
In case you were wondering...putting everclear into a humidifier DOES get you really really drunk.
Yeah I made some freshmen feed me oddles of noodles and I passed out
Bailey. He has a soul patch. Idgaf if he was an NFL player. Nobody with a soul patch is attractive.
Was the first guy that bit your neck last night wearing a trenchcoat...I have a vague memory.
We are no longer allowed to have pre 4th party week. I woke up with a donut stuck to my face and 'MILF' written in black marker on my stomach.
Mother of the Year
Because making bad decisions is what makes our house great and I don't plan on changing that anytime soon.
it was a hallmark card with butt plugs.
We are literally scheduling phone sex... if that's not long distance af then i don't know what is
before i could order beers she was on stage 69ing with a stripper
You spent twenty minutes waxing poetic about her ass and her thighs
Randomize
