a cemetary is a place for people to rest in peace and you just spermed all over their land
my financial goal is to have my cable back before football season starts
i can't remember the last friday i didn't spend in the foetal position
I've decided I'm either going to ease him into this breakup by having a threesome with him and the girl I'm leaving him for, or be brutal and fuck his room mate. it depends how nice he is tonight.
We just threw our carpet out of our room. Via fourth floor window style.
Convinced lucas all the eggs in the fridge are fertilized and now he's crying.
Well besides you comparing him to your dead cat, I'd say it was fine.
made the entire pub sing the british national anthem, puked, rallied, then peed in a telephone booth and have pictures to prove it, taking tourism to another level since 2012.
I felt like in order for him to make it to mordor and destroy the ring, he'd have to make sweet sweet love to me in some form of hut or cave.
Buy Actually if the police need to find my body I'm on an air mattress in an apartment near a McDonald's that's all I see out dat Window
He invites me over too FucK and i wind up eating 6 jimboys tacos with his roommates. While he waited in his room. Maybe next time
I want my tombstone to read "making poor life decisions since 1993"
I somehow turned head, shoulders, knees, and toes into a sobriety test
The highlight of my night will be digging in other people's garbage
I told my mom Jesus would want me to snort drugs on his birthday
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