the pool opens at 11. by 1115 the ambulance had been called.
I just found out the FDA voted to ban Vicodin, my last connection to this world has been destroyed
I'm still with the girl from last night. remember to call me conrad and that i work for PETA
I wish I could donate my sober boners to my whiskey dick
She loves me even though she knows all Ive done. Shes kind of like jesus.
Were making a bet for which twin will relapse while in rehab. I'm going for the chubbier one
I think I explained what happened in the voicemail. But I think I might have just cried and ranted about how cool osiris shoes are
When I finally got there you were bleeding all over and you just kept saying over and over that the dog was your only friend at the party.
With the drought our water bill is skyrocketing. No more shower sex, masturbating, or pretending to be under a water fall after smoking a blunt.
Oh thank the gods of upholstery, i thought that was never coming out...
His reasoning for leaving the keys in the ignition of my car overnight with the top down in an open parking lot ? Too eager to have sex. The sex was not that good for him to do this twice....
We've been walking through the woods for two hours, he just keeps taking pictures. At least we'll remember this tomorrow.
I'm super stoned watching the vatican smoke cam. Come over.
I'm a college student and my dad gets more ass than I do..... do you see a problem here?
Seriously, why do I have a mortar round?
Randomize
