ol I'll be okay, it's only a christmas party so the worst that could happen is I end up playing madden naked again
she kept checking the clock when she was giving me head and at midnight she said she had to stop because she cant eat meat on fridays is that bitch serious
I made the bartender pinky promise me there was still vodka in my drinks.
Well, at first I was really confused. But then I realized that he was talking from his penis's perspective... in third person.
Im in search of the perfect penis, it would be unethical for me not to test run them.
I think that the jello shots in bowls is where it all went wrong.
Not my man #1 and if he likes it then he should put a title on it. Till then the gates of hell. Aka my vagina are open for entrance.
WHAT IS PROPER BONG ETIQUETTE FOR WHEN YOU'RE ALONE IN YOUR BATHTUB AND CRYING?
I need to stop getting picked up at 3 am by my friends parents. This is the second time this week. I'm a grown man.
I woke up like how did I get here this blanket is nice but it was just the curtain
You kept yelling "NO CAPES" at me for no apparent reason
I'm sure the lady doing my pedicure could smell the sex on me.
So I pass out narcotics if its a girl?
Sometimes i wish my vagina automatically turned itself off when i'm legally drunk.
you walked into the party, and all you had on was your left sock... literally.
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