he puts the penis in happiness.
We have had massive layoffs this year, yet the guy who cant flush his shit seems to still have a job
Yeah, she'd be cute...but she has faith. It's a problem down south.
what if every blade of grass was a penis?
I probably wouldn't hook up with him if I had to deal with more than his penis. i think cumulatively we are up to a minute of actual conversation this week.
the only reason you beat me in fntsy this week is bc you wouldnt bail me outa jail in time to set my roster you dick
and now there are teeth marks on my dick.
You drunk dialed me and told me to jump out of my second story window so I could give you head. I almost considered it.
sriracha body shots, that's gonna be a thing
it's like you just said "i want you to suffer"
You were making out with a freshman and said you wanted to back to his place. Then when you got to the door to leave you said "never mind." He sad it wasn't fair and you got all serious and told him "welcome to the real world kid."
Nothing says "welcome to Denver" like a hot 18 year old giving you directions to the dispensary and ending up blowing you in the backseat
We were taking body shots by lunch. I love college.
She's walking to the bar while holding a fifth of fireball, talking on the phone and puking like its nothing out of the ordinary
I let my daughters ex boyfriend take me home from the bar. Hey, at least he's old enough to drink
Her name was Danica but I felt like it would be hard to say drunk so I called her Shelby
Randomize
