Im drinkin out of a coconut! I think im gonna dip my balls in it!
How would you go about getting a hold of the country star that you slept with and are now potentially pregnant with their baby...?
myspace Music?
Hey do you have a way to post bail? If not we can hook you up. If a police officer is reading this please ask him and respond in a timely fashion. I am concerned for my imprisoned friend
Dude she flew me 1000 miles down to see her, broke up with me 7 hrs after arrival, and kicked me out with a week left til I fly home. Thank god college taught me how to shack up
But Alex is drunk in Philly and I told him to come see me so that's "first-love,-drunk,-high,-and-it's-a-snow-day-hook-up-with-an-ex" points. 69
Your little brother is asking me for an "expert opinion" on his dick size.
Youre the drunk baby that everyone wants to take care of.
Just ate a gummy bear I found in my sheets. So yeah, 2013 is SO gonna be my year.
it is a dangerous dangerous place where morals and dignity go to die and all your fantasies about men become reality.
There's mini weenies and empanadas everywhere...
I just ate a handful of salt
I thought this was a good idea
I'm not in the business of asking people about their lizard
I meant his actual lizard not his manhood
worse hangover than the time you almost threw up in a plant in front of your daycare kids?
...I don't remember telling you about that but yes
How much weed should I buy my mom for her birthday?
I know you would never do it--but if I ever walk into your house and find a "live love laugh" ANYTHING, I will commit you to an asylum. If it is a vinyl decal adhered to the wall, I will just smother you myself.
Randomize
