talk about how much treatments for your hpv hurts
she told me her two favorite things were grocery stores and dick.
You realize it's finals week?
Ya that's the school's fault. St. Patrick's day came first.
can't remember last night but the beers were $3.50, so i can count how many I had by counting my quarters
i can afford to take several trips up and down the parkway right now if I wasn't still hanging over my toilet
Dude. He only had one testicle. It was like his whole package was a Muppet Show character coming at me.
Apparently "he pulled out..mostly" is not a valid reason for thinking there's no way i can be pregnant to the nurses at the student health center.
Fyi when u order four mini bottles of scotch on a 45 min flight. The flight attendants jaw drops to the floor.
What did you give her? She's trying to tape her wrists so her hands don't fall off.
I need to stop smoking. I just talked to corn.
Find me a date. With a beard. I want him to rub his beard on my tits. I'm not even into that stuff but I think it'd be so warm.
Matt. This is the manager of qdoba. Pick up the phone. Your friend needs you.
Never thought I would be taunted by little kids about my walk of shame
I faked more orgasms with him then ever should be allowed for someone this pretty.
You aren't truly friends with someone until you play drinking games via text at 8:30 in the morning.
Kinda thinking about going to my moms wedding high
Randomize
