Got a plan. Ill do rock paper scissors and if you win we smoke a joint. Throw rock.
Yay Minnesota! I can't believe there's now a US Senator who has taken more acid than we have
Does it really count as two different guys if they're brothers? I like to think of it as one and a half.
We got a party bus for the nite. I found out the hard way why stripper poles are meant for girls.
Never underestimate the healing power of vomiting and a bath.
He doesn't make grammatical errors. Even while getting head.
And he was super vague about his life, it was frustrating. I totally boned a homeless guy, didn't I?
Smoked all day yesterday and even more today. Just survived high dinner with mom and sister. Thought I might eat the whole table
The only times girls talk to me at clubs is when they're asking if I'm okay when I'm puking outside. Or if it's a tranny
By the way, anytime you want to go toe to toe on Doggystyle lyrics just let me know!
Who is this? Did we just become best friends?!
God if that man would just have sex with me every time I got mad life would be so much easier...
The guy whose porn password I use finally renewed his membership. Lazy fucker had been slacking all summer.
Get off the floor, put away the cookie dough, get ur shit together Scott.
I think it's important to not involve Bar Food in any near future decisions.
Sorry, my phone died and I decide to charge my vibrator instead. #priorities
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