Best part is I totaly had to get into my dads car like I didn't have my pants off two minutes ago.
Just set a new record on Need For Speed at the arcade. Had to enter Tiger Woods as the name.
She came in to my room half naked at 3am asking me if I had seen the movie balls deep 7
Yeah, clearly. And then we can float around my room on Christmas themed inner tubes. And drink, I guess.
Oh my god what did I do. My hands are scraped, there are pickles on the floor, my clothes are wet, and I don't remember how I get here. Thank you.
He was having a "party in the princess castle." At what point do I blindfold him and take him to AA?
I'm stealing this baby.
Well I always support illegal activity but where would you put it?
i know i saw many looks of jealousy when i walked solo into subway carrying a cheesy gordida crunch after taco bell closing hours
I'm sure for most of the people, it was the one and only miracle they will see
I tried to flirt with him by saying "catholics are cool" and he handed me a cup of water so i called him jesus and thanked him for the wine
I support your vibrator fueled lifestyle.
Oh, I also stabbed a guy Friday and he still asked me out
Look, I've got a really big car. We just need to put ourselves in it and put some body parts in other body parts.
I fell out of my bed whilst trying not to move this morning. I AM ADULT
I had ice cream for breakfast two days in a row.
SUPER ADULTS
sometimes u just gotta ride a dildo and forget about life
Our baby is creepy.
That's how we know it's ours. haha
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