So the bouncer told me I could leave the easy way or the hard way. I told him I was going to make him earn his 10 bucks that hour.
Apparently you chose the latter.
I've officially put my junk in foods from 5 of the 6 layers of the nutrition pyramid
Ironically her ferret's toys look like her sex toys.....this is a whole new level of kinky for me
I just got a Community College debit card in the mail. My failure has been materialized.
I knew I was in the wrong bar when "I have a daughter your age" was some random's pick up line.
I just handed the barista at Starbucks a panty liner instead of my card....maybe I should upgrade this Tall to a Venti...
He did a 4 wheel burnout and yelled at the cops "Sorry! It's for a school project!". HOW does he think of this shit?
We used the solo cup bag for her hair tie. Desperate times call for desperate measures.
Why is there an ambulance refusal in my pocket? I'm never going drinking with you again.
her mom went out of her way to book us a room with separate beds... her level of gay denial is in beast mode
its gotten to the point where if her hand isn't on my butt i think we're in a fight
Dude your life.. At your sugar daddies house sending nudes to your fwb
Mashed potatoes are always the fuckin answer ok.
I realized it was late, and he was my brother in humanity and another incarnation of my own life force and consciousness, so I regained control of myself, thanked him for helping me, and went home.
I was told i took a shot doing a headstand in the backseat then proceeded to barf all over my face
I had no idea you were so talented.
Randomize
