hell yes lets make some ravioli
if i get killed by an online date, its your job to tell my parents that we met at church
kicked my backpack and turned on my vibrator in the middle of class. success.
do to the flooding of the park, there will be a midnight bikini mud wrestling party behind my dorm. all are welcome.
2nd semester senior, always drunk. at this point if i don't get a good parking spot, i turn around and drive home
she was puking red wine out the car window, telling me about how shes joining weight watchers tomorrow, not okay.
Hne relally is a cite oerfect gome. Nes awddddddddooooome.
I saw a stripper quit while on stage to months ago nothing you tell me will amaze me
#1- I went to button my shirt only to find they were all mising. #2- I'm so fu@king sore I feel like I was sweating to the oldies all night. #3- this pounding headache I have, I blame solely on Jennifer. Everyone sounds like Billy Mays when they talk. I remember nothing from last night, I'm concerned.
I complimented him on his choice of carpeting while he was humping me.
Nvm, he just almost drank his drink from last night, his drink that has the condom in it. Kinda answers my question.
I'm busy watching infomercials. I'd say I'll join you later, but I'm doing a shot every time they demonstrate how difficult life is WITHOUT this product. So I doubt I'll be able to walk in another... Maybe 40 minutes.
But feel free to join! A new infomercial starts in 12 minutes.
As my straight cousin I need you to answer a question. Are the Astros a baseball team, and if so, are they good? This is flirting related and time-sensitive.
I'm drunk, laying in bed, eating macaroni salad. I dropped a piece and tried to pick it up with a fork. My cleavage is bleeding and I haven't been laid yet. Heeeyyyy!!!
You came into the club around midnight with a carton of tropicana o.j. & said you were starting a revolution.
Randomize
