that girl looks like she smells like hot dog water...
So gin and wine won't be happening again
It will be a surprise...all i can say is stripper clown
i've learned that i'm good at stealing things. like live cats.
Found your pants. They were stuffed in the tank of the toilet.
Dude she's famous. She's on an episode of campus pd. Can't not fuck her
I feel like if Miami and New Jersey fucked each other and produced a baby that would summarize the bar I'm in.
He had bigger boobs than me last night and we both weren't wearing a bra so it was a fair judgement
Running across campus through Hurricane Sandy while hammered and in a slutty cowgirl costume obviously should be top priority tonight
Can you please come and collect your boss off of my kitchen floor.
There's someone howling in the parking lot. Haha.
STOP PUTTING PICTURES OF JONAH HILL IN MY KITCHEN CABINETS!
My manager gave me an envelope with money in it before he had vacation, and when I asked what it was for, he said it will be his bail money.
she has no right to get mad at us for drinking during the wedding. she's the one that chose the bridesmaid dresses with pockets.
dude. that's the chick that BIT MY DICK. it doesn't matter how hot you think she is, trust me man.
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