ParTy fuckkin suckkkks bro I gotta fid sum biTch 2 leT me fire sum loadz on her FACE!
?
Nah, but can you imagine if I were seriously like that?
I only kidnapped one of them. chill
Ugh, here's a dating tip. Hairy legs are a major turn off
WTF?! TAYLOR SWIFT JUST WON ARTIST OF THE YEAR OVER MICHAEL JACKSON?! WHAT IS THIS WORLD COMING TO?!
Our phone convo was getting intense. Then I heard her say "quiet mommy is trying to have phone sex"
I feel like today should be a " im going to have sex with you cause its raining and theres nothing else to do" kinda day
Wasted on the beach. There's children everywhere. A six year old girl even stood over me with her hands on her waist looking down on me as I was passing out by the water
It took all the strength I had tto sit at my desk and not tear off my business attire and run screaming from adulthood and flourescent lights.
If for no other reason than to cuddle with that puppy, you have to hook up with him again.
Bro that's the last time I try to stick my penis in a bowl of jello. I can't believe your sister ate that, did she not see my dick mold
Whiskey dick has taught us to be smart with our time.
His name sounds so important....sounds like the name of my future baby daddy to me.
Had sex in a blanket fort. How was your weekend?
And thanks for putting me in that safety position on the bathroom floor while I was spooning the toilet
I think the moment she woke up butt naked on a mattress with her phone still on her face was the point she knew last night was fucked up
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