We're gonna have to suck it up and start making out for free drinks. No homo. I'm watching Tyra "I kissed a girl and I got free drinks."
Let's do it. All homo
i totally forgot about the coupon that said i would show him how i pleasure myself.
If i'm not hungover, near death, and wondering what i did the night before on Monday, life is not worth living.
You broke out your mechano set and told us you were gonna "build us a beer machine" and 5 min later you were fast asleep
Dignity is for republicans.
Okay I woke up in my room, snuggie on, had a water bottle in my hand my tv was on Disney channel and my cigarettes are gone. And I deleted every text in my phone but one that said 'you are absolutely welcome'
Aaaand my life has been reduced to whether I can reach to flush my puke down the toilet using my foot. The answer is yes.
Question: If I got in a car accident and lost my memory of us, would you work your way back just so we could be fuck buddies again?
I'm watching The Vow and just need to know that I'm loved in some way
I just tried to make cleaning gasoline off your shoes with toilet paper in the Chemistry Building bathroom look normal. I failed.
I guess the wine stains on your shirt and the $2 vodka tonics you're sweating out just scream, "Welcome to DC, please ask me for directions."
She is dumping me if she doesn't get a ring by Valentines. So one more month of free sex and it will be back to the right hand.
You're breaking my sexual little heart
I didn't want to shower, so I shaved my legs in the pool . That drunk .
You wouldnt listen to us when we told you there was no place that was selling girlscout cookies at 4:30am...
only 4 hours until nug lovin time
excuse me?
nug lovin. lovin nugs.
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