Picking up third year law school girls is like MILF hunting for beginners
i pretty much saved your life. you were so conviced that your nail polish remover bottle was "Vodka Lemon"
When you want to head down the cleveland on Sunday?
What time do the bars open? I dont want to remember how bad theyre gonna lose
Ask him about the girl he took home Saturday night. I swear she voted for Kennedy.
Dude just bought condoms some sad fuck next to me buying a pregnancy test he gave me a look like he'd pay me millions to switch places
I hate drunken dyslexia, i thought she said "someone to do" not "something to do" long story short i now have a restraining order.
He kept saying 'your mouth is Amazing' even after I was on his dick.
we sixty- nined on a tennis court.. not even drunk. you say insane. i say creative genius.
Maybe if i steal enough bar glasses i can justify all the money spent i've spent there
Def regretting not writing "will blow for extra credit" on my last final
Just a smidgen more estrogen and shed be golden
She's got a legit dose of dude going on
No kidding. All she needs is a cheek full of chewing tobacco and I'd have fucked John wayne.
My chest hair is, as we speak, arching upward to embrace my neck beard. The union will be a storied one.
Our Tuesday night drunk Irish step dancing was on point tonight.
I woke up with my face covered in mustard. Your mom said I ate hotdogs like a pornstar
I've decided to become a librarian so I can drunkenly quote The Mummy and have it be legit.
Randomize
