I just called a child with a Yankees jersey a jerkoff. so much for a friendly day @ the ballpark
question. what would be the least awkward way to ask your one night stand if he came inside of you because you would really prefer not to have his illegitimate lovechild. hypothetically.
I'm pregaming with America's Best Dance Crew.
Do a shot everytime Lil' Mama mispronounces a word.
so I woke up this morning and on their fridge, the first item on the shopping list was my virginity.
I kind of feel like guidos are mythical creatures.
I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
Today's face brought to you by last night's make-up.
He caught a squirrel with his bare hands twice. Where do you find these people?
Managed to discreetly puke out of a moving streetcar window, in front of no less than a dozen people. Nobody saw/said anything. I feel like a legit local now.
This is going to be BYOBM Vegas trip: Bring Your Own Bail Money.
She took a crow from her moms Halloween decorations, taped it to her shoulder, went to the bar and made the guys buy a drinks for both her and the crow.
All I remember is lecturing my dog about how she's a lucky bitch to have a structured eating and shitting schedule.
Just found out drinking 6 trays of random shots makes me wake up on a club toilet with my underwear and jeans around my ankles
Sad fact: I'm doing that thing where I'm bored so I give myself Princess Leia hair and drink alcohol.
Burnt food and a broken vibrator. Disappointment after disappointment. Is April a man?
Randomize
