Yes give me all the cream and he's gone
I just saw a girl walking home wearing a tshirt, boxers, and cowboy boots. Thanks for having the decency to drive me to my car.
if i wake up one more time on my porch im gonna start considering myself homeless
Let's go to weight watchers and eat in front of them.
It's amazing how much better one feels once you put something in your vagina.
i'm too stoned to be pregnant. the kicking is morse code for wanting beef jerky.
Fuck. That. I'm gonna get drunker and make them regret they EVER put me at the kids table. I'm a MAN.
Let me start this apology by saying I'm sorry that I bit your penis.
I Can't even believe I threw all my pizza rolls at her, I mean not only did i ruin a good meal but now I dont have anymore
Let's not fuck on an air mattress tonight...I'd rather get rug burn.
True enough. Do you ever think that these girls grandparents ghosts are watching you masterbate to their granddaughters and look at you in Shame?
Let he who has not made drunken spaghetti at 3 a.m. cast the first stone.
Lol, yeah it'll be fun,but will it be cereal and dick pics fun?
How do you feel about a threesome?
Will you be there?
I'm the one asking!
He told you he loved you. Then you wanted to find a chainsaw to cut his dick off.
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