Please stop sending me picture messages of your shit. Seriously. I don't care if it looks like popcorn chicken.
I think the phrase "baptist college" should be an oxymoron.
hey just checking if u still hate me for sleeping with your sister?
there is a large number of people floating in the fountains the morning in inter-tubes...its only 930. did i miss something?
Ask politely.
Fine. Can i please come over, hang out with you, sit around a campfire, smoke tree, listen to sublime, and fuck the shit out of you?
Thats good enough.
fell asleep with the bong in the pool, weirdest tan line ever
I'm eating dry tortillas on a mattress without a sheet. and i thought my life would change after graduation.
Everyone makes mistakes, yours just means you will forever be known as the chick that tried to steal a cheese plate from the funeral.
Dude he's not responding... I'll take that as an unpleasant visit to the clinic
He purred while eating me out. HE PURRED AND I LIKED IT.
On the bad side I puked, but on the bright side I puked lettuce which was a new experiance
6 beers, 3 orange crushes, & half a fire ball later & you get my alter ego.
Watching a guy masturbate in real time is a lot less theatrical than porn had me to believe.
DO NOT THROW SOUP AT YOUR SCREEN
I wanna get to the point where I can just send a question mark and get an exclamation point in response
Randomize
