saw "Pah-jure" lube. Thought of you. Wearing the same clothes to work tomorrow.
I stayed in, ate a pint of Hagen daas and watched a movie about aids. Soooooooo single.
I told her I was pledging and she immediately proposed to give me head in the bathroom. i love how easy rushees are
4 maple syrup blunts. Decided to sit on my roof and count the snowflakes that landed on my tongue. 84.
guess who has a date tonight
look at you growing up, going on dates before she hops into bed
He puts stickers to promote his new shirt company in every sack he sells. He's like the donald trump of weed
As long as you're naked and covered in glow paint, I'm there.
P.s. remind me to tell you about the porno that Paul envisioned starring you. It's wizard of oz themed.
If you could watch a water balloon run... That's what it's like watching her run.
We went from zero to drunk tank in 45 minutes.
Dad's already had 6 Zionist conspiracy rants and moms trying to detect any "dark energies" in my soul. You have 4 days before you return to this shit: ENJOY THEM
I asked him to sing a song so he couldn't hear me throwing up as he was holding my hair
See, remember when you wanted to get an Ashley Madison account and I told you not to and you hated me? You. Are. Welcome.
Do you remember vividly describing the shape and girth of my cock to that girl last night?
Oh my god, my vagina is cursed. He's cursed my vagina so that no one but him can maintain a boner around me. I'm sure of it.
He ate me out while I was wearing a canada goose parka and a dress hand crafted by a seamstress from yellowknife. I came while watching the northern lights. Most arctic orgasm ever.
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