love makes seman taste better
I can totally hide my daquiri in my sling.
Since when does a beard not count as proof of age at the liquor store?
I don't remember him, but he's saved in my phone as "uh oh zbt"
I want to punch and suck your dick at the same time. I don't think we have the healthiest of relationships.
She narrowed it down to 7 guys that could have gotten her pregnant.
We woke up, fucked twice, she drank 3 warm heinekins to cure her hangover and said "Im glad you're still hott when im sober"
I'm on my way, but at some point we're going to have to settle who gave who crabs the last time
And then you'll find yourself a hot chick and leave me behind with nothing but my back fat to keep me company.
Just set up my first threesome: a rapper and a Marine. Pretty sure at least 80% of girls in America hate me right now.
Sushi was just eaten off my naked body. I feel like I can die in peace now.
I'm really just disappointed in myself for having sex with a musical theater major
How do u explain to your grandma that your relationship status is hooking up with randoms at a bar
Are you going to regret this?
No I do t think so
Ok then he can enter the holy dorm temple.
Woke up in a car, do you own a silver car parked a few miles form the house...hope so
Randomize
