It's sad how good I am at giving people diseases
I think you're the first person to ever call Louisville, KY a "romantic getaway".
He busted his lip while trying to keep from passing out in the pool. The hotel people don't seem to be too concerned that we're passing around a bottle of SoCo at 11 am.
Sadness tears and throw up everywhere
we've had our differences but let's set them aside, go home and fuck
This essay is so getting done. I am spurred on by thoughts of test-driving your newly shaven face by sitting on it as soon as humanly possible.
Yes, he did use his cock to direct traffic from my 3rd story window. That's why I love him
the mexican frat downstairs started singing this mariachi song, then out of nowhere some dude busts out a trumpet and plays along. is this even real?
dude, where are you? this beer run has taken so long i read war and peace, took a nap, and shaved 3 times.
They're either celebrating their tax money or trying to kill each other.
The tequila monkeys have a drum solo in my skull right now. I can't imagine Emily feels better.
I mean it's up to you where you want to sleep but I'm telling you you're going to hear us have sex no matter what room you're in.
Fair enough
Sitting in the car eating a bagel. Watching a guy do tai chi in the parking lot. My morning is fabulous
Guess who just set half their backyard on fire.
Please tell me youre joking.
Nope. on the brightside though, im really gonna quit smoking this time.
It was like a single vaginal boat in a sea of one eyed monsters
Randomize
