Tis a story best told in person, it involves a golf course, police and vomit
It usually does with you
i want to swaddle you in tequila
I'm not holding out much hope. She met me in a nighclub when I was arguing with the cigarette machine
I forgot how wholesome of a place a park is when youre not drinking there.
We are without power. He took ALL the lightbulbs out and hid them.
You told me "I need to pound this drinks if I'm going to pretend his dick is big enough" then left. Dollar night quotes 2012
Bring me the dick of your room mate Alex and I will reward you in in skittles.
He sent me a 2am email the just said "Ping". Nerdiest booty call ever.
i need some magic done to my vagina
It looks like I jerked off a rainbow.
Just sitting at dinner with my dad...simultaneously texting "daddy" to confirm saturday's spanking and telling another guy to get condoms before Im done with dinner. Don't know when I got so ate up but I'm loving it. You?
Regretting asking you what you were doing.
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST.
After the bar we stopped to Meijer where I found myself singing little mermaid while rubbing a pack of hotdogs on my face..
Was make out with a 38 year old lesbian on our bucket list? if it was you can go ahead and cross that one off.
I just remembered how you stole the slinky from me. Bitch, I will NEVER forgive you.
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