I really don't want to move...I'm having a motivation problem.
kev is about to show us pictures of the tranny he accidentally fucked last night.
I'll be there in 10
My roommate found me crawling down the hallway as she was on her way to her morning class. Its time for a new semester.
We just saw him running from campus police a few minutes ago. So no, I don't think he's still passed out on the quad.
You only ask me to come over when your gf is gone, and thats usually at midnight to cook chicken salad and watch you pass out
i'm about to say screw it and get drunk in the hotel by myself
It's 2 pm, at least sit by the pool...
No, you don't understand. If the words "stop," "alcohol poisoning," and "regret" aren't in the same sentence by the end of the night, I will have failed this birthday.
I'm not sure drinking my way through west nile virus is the best idea. Oh well, already committed to that plan.
Who gives a hand job to a 19 yr old one night then the next lets a 31 year old random man fly a plane to town and pick u up and take u to dinner?
With everyone putting up pictures of their moms on Facebook it's time to go single MILF hunting.
He offered me handsanitizer after a hand job, you can't tell me he's not perfect!
The only person more miserably hungover from the party is the dog, and that's because he ate some balloons
Life if anyone rolls up to my funeral with shitty weed get them out of there
Had sex outside for the third time last night. Mosquito bites all over my ass, and i think i have a rash on my nipples. When will i learn.
Just wait till winter
You kept saying “keke” over and over so I slapped you then you proceeded to ask if I loved you. In case you’re wondering why you have a black eye - Lauren
It's official. My little brother has had more sex in my car than I have. I'm still tied with my little sister. I hate everybody.
Randomize
