If I see one more commercial for The Secret Life of the American Teenager, I'm going to punch the next teenage girl I see in the uterus and scream, "Wear a condom!"
This boy just came into class wearing sperrys and a polo but also carrying a longboard. I'm unequivocably attracted to his level of doucheyness.
I need to stop fucking people before I get to know them
She is chewing on staples and spitting them at her cat, I think it's time to leave..
Btw, I'm creating an event on fb to celebrate the one yr anniversary since we went to jail.
You do realize there's a subtle difference between not remembering your outfit from april 17th of last year vs forgetting that last night you undressed in the street and were grabbing every dick you could reach, right?
Won't anyone wonder why I'm mute, bald, and wearing an eye patch?
Hate to say it and even though I definitely have a biased opinion but I'm surprised your not, sleeping with anyone else. Good personality, charisma and amazing in the sack.
Feel free to use me as a reference.
If you have shit your pants within the past two years, please take a seat.
I woke up with a massive hangover and realized I still had an entire bottle of tequila in my car...so yeah, working on tomorrow's hangover.
Pounded a bottle of Moscato in my underwear while watching Pretty Little Liars...am I really gonna be 30 next year?
IM NOT TALKING TO YOU UNTIL YOU MAKE A PROCLAMATION YOU LOVE ME MORE THAN TACOS
5% want to drink juice and feel better, 95% just want to touch your butt
You had to dry your pants with the hand dryer in the bathroom because you "forgot to take it out."
thanks for letting me have sex in your bed, too bad you didn't get to yet
who are you?
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