Get your damn GED now that you are harvesting a child in her belly
What is a GED?
last night i found out that about 5 of my friends audio recorded us having sex through the bedroom door, then auto tuned it in the tpain app on his iphone.
My dad just told the waiter to keep the pitchers coming until someone passes out.
sorry about having a shotput competition with your microwave, seemed like a good idea at the time
She's either too fat to type, hammered or has terrible spelling.
Seriously, I'm ready to settle for ugly and unemployed as long as he has decent hygene and likes to go down.
literally hosing herself off in my back yard with the hose. i offered her the shower but she refused. that drunk.
iphones do not disturb setting is the biggest cock block to my 3am booty calls
Her boobs take up a lot of room so God had to skimp on the brains
I think I was the only one who knew you were acting like you weren't drunk in public issues discussion this morning. Make sure you thank me in your Academy Award Speech someday.
How do you initiate sexting are u supposed to be like yo I'm peeing and eating a clif bar and texting and thinking about you naked all at the same time
But the sex is so much better when he already has a girlfriend
You know you had a good night when you wake up cuddling a baseball bat and a can of chicken noodle soup.
I will consider today a failure if my nipple isn't bitten at least 😂
Oh is THAT how we're gonna play mini golf
We're on our way. We couldn't find our clothes this morning, so we're driving your car half naked. You owe me a cigarette.
Randomize
