dude, that girl smelled worse than the great depression.
Apparently on the way out of the ER i asked the nurse to doggie-bag me some more morphine.
Oh. They ARE dating. Kinda sad. Have such an urge to be a huge bitch and steal him but my morality is in the way. FUCK YOU MORALITY.
im sitting in a tub with a sombrero on.. im just kind of confused.
I just want one of her status not to be about Jesus.
btw he is cheating on one twin with the other. the main woman in his life has a mullet. I defiantly have either the coolest or weirdest uncle ever
Only catch is you have to sleep in the same bed as me. But no worries, I plan on being in a random guys hotel room every night. So it's essentially yours.
I think it says something about my life when I start picking up girls while im in rehab. And I don't think it's good.
So many gingers... It's like a beacon went out that said "this one is ok with red hair"
Let's play "Guess What I Just Found In My Vagina?"
If you end up wanting to sit on his face, just make a sound like a dying giraffe and I'll make myself scarce.
I told him I was on my period but he says "I'm a doctor, you think I can't handle blood?" And just went for it. Jackpot
He texted me "sup", so I sent him that gif of the surprised guy and apparently it offended him
tell raye i said hi and sorry for bleeding on the limes
Ok, there are marshmallows shaped like elephants
Randomize
