i just shoved 27 marshmallows in my mouth
well thats a nice change of pace from what you normally put in your mouth
Well, I fucked her. But the sex wasn't all that great. Morning sex never is
i regret nothing . he quoted dr. suess . he deserved that bj .
It hit me after I slept with his best friends and brother, that maybe I took it a bit far
Housekeeping called in a homicide detective. Just spent an hour explaining that we had vigorous hotel vacation sex five times, even though I was having a heavy flow day. It'll definitely be what you call a memorable honeymoon.
idk but i have you stored in my phone as 'guy with beard doing body shots'
Because you know it would be fucking amazing to get trashed and shatter the dreams of 12 year old girls. I might get a shirt.
I just need to actually convince myself that drunkenly having sex won't help me forget the last time I drunkenly had sex, it only makes the situation worse.
Was in the middle of a keg stand, the frat guys dropped me, and I broke my nose. My mom didn't enjoy that call from the hospital.
Doc gave me something stronger than Xanax. The pills have your last name imprinted on them. This cannot be coincidence.
WHY AM I CRAWLING IN OLDER MEN HOLY JESUS
No. Nooooo. No way. She looked like Amanda Bynes. The recent one not the one from All That.
The zoom feature on snap chat videos is the worst thing to ever happen to sexting
I don't know if I'm more disturbed by the fact that you hooked up with a dude with one arm, or that "hook up with a dude with one arm" was on your bucket list.
Someone signed my nipple.
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