Yea. The knew something was up when i told them i had to go pick up goat milk and and and a roasted chicken at 2 am
you kept yelling something about watching the muppets chirstmas carol and trying to turn the t.v. on with your car keys
naighbors jacking off again. i swear its his friday night ritual, its like he knows the night wont be ending in his favor
this guy just used the pickup line "God must have spent a little more time on you" I recognized the nsync lyric immediately.
I'm not sure if what i'm hearing downstairs is sex or not, but if it is, it sounds like there's a dog involved...i'm mildly concerned.
wanna hang out tonight and remember it?
With your fertility you would just get contact pregnant
styled my pubes into a mustache as a surprise. Thought you should know
I hate that you live in a gated community. I feel your guard judges me every time I go to your house at 3 am an leave at 5am
She said "I've been waiting to suck your cock since high school." I'm so glad so many freshmen are from our school.
Nah, this is the University of Tennessee. She'll get the clap, and get busted for having pot in her dorm by spring break. This time next year she'll be part-timing at a community college as a nursing major. So predictable it hurts.
The hair on my legs is officially flapping in the breeze when I walk. I must say, being single does have perks and this is one of them.
A penis isn't a time share. I want to own not rent.
Um that's okay I got up on the table at IHOP and terrorized the entire restaurant for a phone charger after I stole the whip cream from the kitchen and started eating it out the can
The economy isn’t reopen until I can get drunk and motorboat fake tits at lunch on a Wednesday
Randomize
