could you please explain to me why my jumper cables are on my bedroom floor?
I think that's mostly how we became friends.
Well that, and your desire to put your penis in me.
Apparently you missed the drunkest me ever documented. I slept on the hardwood floor and left my pants on the porch to give u a frame of reference.
Id fuck him but only at his house and he had to stay im bed till i left. He only works upper body. It just creeps me out how tiny his legs are
Yes she was blowing me but I couldnt see her face. The only light was from the sparklers she asked me to hold. I love 4th of July.
Wait do you remember that guy last night asking to use my nose ring to open his beer.......
I definitely don't remember licking the drag queens boob.
I HAVE PIZZA MONEY AT ALL TIMES IT'S CALL EMERGENCY PLANNING
I say camping because "let's go get hammered in the woods" sounds kinda fucking weird to be honest.
She gave me a roadie as we drove home from fireworks. People were still lighting off their displays as we drove by. I love America.
Well I didn't get a shacker shirt but I somehow managed to come home with superman socks
I got stabbed with a couple of chip crumbs during sex Saturday. Further proof I need to stop eating snacks in bed
Slammed 3 beers and just bowled a 129\nI guess alcohol IS the answer
Sober sex is weird like I didn't expect this when I got clean
Once you start using "cuddles" as a code word for sex you'll never get real cuddles again
Randomize
