Just brushed my teeth...forgot we used this toothbrush in bed last night.
So I'm eating my sandwich... and a penny fell out of it.
alright she left, finally time to fart up the room
it's pretty bad when you go in bed bath and beyond and recognize 6 different bed spreads you've had sex on
Had sex five times today because there was nothing else to do. I had no idea snow days could get even better than when we were kids
Apparently I was trying to convince him Springsteen has had buttsex. I ended the argument with "I bet he came from it too."
My neighbor asked me to tell you to stop changing in front of their house. Do I even want to know?
whatever buzz i had immediately ended when i saw her run through a sliding glass door
Though I feel a moral obligation to take you there, point out all of the male supervisors and slap you on the wrist and yell, "NO!!"
Cut a hole in the crotch of my onesie so we could have sex without me getting cold. Best decision of my life.
Girl, that was the lost night of 2012 for me and I have buried that night deep deep away..
So we broke my sobriety. Played life size childhood games. Broke into a cold hot tub and got laid. I think this is BFF quality!
Sorry for yelling at you, I'm just really emotional about missing comicon.
Let's just wait to see what happens before we start making radical plans and starting fires
It was kind of like hidden Mickey ears, but with dicks.
Randomize
