If he looks like a Gremlin DO NOT get him wet.
He was legit dry humping me to the sportscenter theme song, awkward i think SO.
literally every day that goes by where he doesn't talk to me makes me more determined to get him to have sex with me
Just saved her as "new hostess that randy banged" ...I forgot her name
Also I feel like 60% of our relationship is based on sausage mcmuffins.
after we had sex he told me his original plan was to have sex with my roommate but his buddy likes her so i was backup
Just saw a homeless man taking a shower in someone's sprinkler system....
He shit in a sock dude, you can't come back from that
Life is my bitch right now. The bouncers tried to carry me out of the club, but everyone thought I was crowd surfing so everyone carried me BACK IN. Winning as fuck.
All the party invite said was a date and "21 to drink, 18ish to sleep over"
I'm taking ecstasy it's gonna be that kind of Vegas trip
Fuck I forgot the furry convention was this weekend and now I'm downtown. Way too high for this shit.
Saw two pregnant women at court today and I SWEAR one of them said "we had a threesome with this random guy and he got both of us pregnant."
I need to align my fucking chakras
I just hooked up with the German exchange student who doesn't speak English. And you said I have no talent.
Randomize
