I'm not ready for the Pike bikes to move back in to town it was wonderful seeing that sorority house empty all summer
... I'm KD
He just refered to Steak and Shake as "a good place for couples". I will definitely not be shacking tonight.
his dick is like his red hair, amazing but useless
who do i root for if I want Christiano Ronaldo to win the world cup on a team by himself and then bang chicks on the pitch?
we made malted milkshakes. malt as in malt liqour.
you grabbed his arm with one hand and the bottle of smirnoff with the other and headed off to your room you were on a mission
are you aware you chucked your pizza at a girl's face after the bar last night?
Oh shit I just realized the ropes are still tied to the bedposts
At second job interview this week. Wearing pants to hide pole dancing bruises. This my life.
He passed out again after sex. I've hidden all his clothes. There's no way he is sneaking out in the morning this time!
I don't care if we're married you can't just walk into the bedroom with a pizza box expecting to get laid
She was doing hand motions and used straws from drinks like those airport light batons to have me back my "747 jumbo dick" towards you.
I'm supposed to be at work in 10 min, I just woke up and am 45 min away...tinder for the win
Don't be upset because I bitch slapped you with intelligence
Certain restrictions may apply. Common side effects of sex with me include unbridled joy, a healthy glow, soreness and the inability to walk for short to long amounts of time. If any of these side effects occur please consult your physician, so he/she can prescribe me a "high-five".
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