Proposition. Sex. No words, no talking about it later. I just want you tonight.
I've come to the conclusion that the only reason I fucked him was because he reminded me of Seth Rogen.
I realized today that I should stop thinking so much with my vagina instead of my brain.
Please tell me this doesn't mean another "surprise road trip" where I spend all my money on gas and the SURPRISE destination is the abortion clinic.
But what if I pay for the gas?
Thanks to this cookie, I have now eaten something other than skittles today.
For when you/if you wake up tomorrow.. You broke 4 of the bar's glasses tonight and I am currently watching you as you ride the broom around the bar instead of cleaning up your mess. I am no longer able to come up with excuses for you.
We are smoking a hash blunt ... Bring your emergency inhaler
He seemed like a really nice guy. He tried to dry my shirt because someone spilled their drink on me. I think that's how I ended up topless on his dryer.
I slept with someone shorter than me. My vagina weeps.
You fool.
I was late because I helped this old romanian lady mow her lawn at 2AM.
Dude, you're only mentioning the Bro Code so I can't get any
she got the mcdonald's logo tattooed on her ass. sober. yesterday at noon.
with the possibility that i could very easily fall in love with him and i've actually talked to my HUSBAND about it
Yes dating, but it seems easier to just live in a perpetual state of Netflix, internet porn, and cheese.
Testing the emergency boobs hotline
Double high-fived his wife and her sister on the way out. If I'm not the best mistress ever tell me how.
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