Just bought purple Ray Bans. If there was any small chance that I would ever have sex with women ever again, I just buried it.
Hawaiian shirts and no dignity
We are always on the same wavelength...kinda eerie.
I just spent the past twenty minutes checking out a girl who turned out to be a mannequin. I need AA.
Pre-order weed for 4/20 and i'll give you a discount.
All I need in life is some dick and a big mac.
she went to her friend's wedding and caught the bouquet. as the unwilling rebound, can i run away now?
I can't believe she made out with my 15 year old brother. That kid can seriously pull.
I woke up in a lawn chair by the lake to some man revving his boat motor at me.
He's getting Easter eggs filled with weed or Jell-O shots for his birthday
Ultimate cock block. About to have sex and your mom calls you so you can go help your grandmother figure out how to vote for the voice on her iPad
Tis the season to play Pocahontas! (AKA: Eat a bunch of acid and run around the yard barefoot, the first person to see the colors of the wind, wins!)
Crying in Target on a display sofa is normal, right? Asking for a friend.
I legitimately thought he died. I even called his mom at 3am and told her. Im done with vodka.
beach body workouts will consist of dancing and cocaine, and sugar free redbull
Every time I see this chick she's swimming naked at a pool party. That's gotta mean something right?
Randomize
