pwbgyin
what?
penguin condom
i woke up to her playing with my penis. just wiggling it around and around. awkward night? i would say so.
things that need to be invented #43: vodka that also acts as birth control.
there needs to be a "man fax report". like car fax. type in the guys name and bday and up pops all the bad shit he's ever done.
Just discovered Kim Possible porn. Life is now complete.
One last question would your parents let me sleep in your bathtub for the night?
It's like you are the superhero of getting jizzed on
I lost track of him after he threw the handful of pennies at the 2 female cops and ran into the darkness. I heard a tazer and a scream. All that is left is his flip flop. Its like hes drunken man-derella.
my question is who was more confortable? You sleeping on the floor or me tweeting from a bush?
My last 2 google image searches were 'a lot of pudding' followed by 'a generous portion of pudding'
He will be forever remembered as "birthday failure" ...Got him to pierce his tongue in my bathroom, but not sleep with me......
Just got offered cocaine at ihop. Stay classy America.
Bitch how dare you drink my dos equis
GOOD MORNING! This is your wake up call! Just incase this text wasn't enough, I had sex on your bed last night while you were drunk hitting on my sister. Dan jizzed on your pillow! We rubbed it on both sides! Now get up and go to class!
She really wants to hug you. With her vagina.
Randomize
