He tagged himself in all of my pictures so he would get a notification if someone commented on it.
Restraining orders are what college is about.
he wanted me to put the condom on for him. I was high and couldn't figure it out.. so instead we played xbox.
there are too many children here to make this hangover-friendly
You sucked the drug dealers dick for a 20 of coke...?
Nooo, I payed for that. I sucked his dick because I had an urge.
I'll see your cousin, and raise you a sister.
I did the mature thing and subtweeted that bitch. She follows me so she'll see.
Please tell me that is you having sex in my car in my driveway and not a complete stranger.
I'd apply for another job, but "staring out windows crying" is not a hot qualification right now.
I feel violated by Miley Cirrus's performance in the VMA's.
Today was brought to you by the letter B for beer and bourbon and the number fuck you I'm meant to be studying not hungover
YOUR TO-DO SEX LIST CANNOT CONSIST ENTIRELY OF MY THREE BEST FRIENDS
and their significant others
AND THEIR SIGNIFICANT OTHERS
As your friend, who loves and cares for you, I have to be honest. I am judging you so VERY hard right now. Sorry.
When's the last time you had sex near some ducks?
I saw the president of my women in business club at the bar last night...I was gonna thank her for teaching me the business skills to create my own fake to get in... then i decided not
I'm texting you know although you won't get this until you wake up. the only reason you are strapped to your bed is because you were trying to fly out your window.
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