I think I am morally bankrupt
FYI: Do not ever call any girl a thundercunt as a form of dirty talk.
i just won an entire level on word mole with the word 'clitoris'
I just recorded courtney puking and set it as my ringtone.
I got fingered by sexual harassment panda last night, by a van, I can't remember if he took off his furry panda hands...
she said she likes her vagina punished
being with you and your tiny dick is punishment enough
Between the plague n the counterfeit drugs we brought back from mexico I'm not thinking too highly of their country right now. Screw mexican homeless men.
Some might say its sad that I am willingly picking up a coke habit to be the skinniest bridesmaid... I think it shows my great dedication and proves I should have been maid of honor.
I hope your face alive. Lemme know if you are breathing in the morning. If not. Whoever is reading this tell me when the funeral for this awesome mother fucker is and we will rage at that event. Kthanksbye
I think Saturday night will always be a mystery to me, except for buying an excessive amount of birthday shots for everyone and yelling BIRTHDAY SHOTS before every shot.
Do u ever find yourself high af, watching American ninja warrior and crying at the athletes stories?
She has the best kind of daddy issues
Nah I think he's a bit weirded out I worked out where he lives from a Facebook photo
It is NEVER not funny to me when I am sitting at a table and I've touched the dicks of every single person I'm sitting with.
I think she lost me at about the point where the words “Ice Cream Enema” were spoken.
Randomize
