Oh. They ARE dating. Kinda sad. Have such an urge to be a huge bitch and steal him but my morality is in the way. FUCK YOU MORALITY.
Note to self: Don't teach the naked lap rule in beer pong until after youve made a cup..
the threesome consisted of him fingering dana while i laid next to them watching how i met your mother.
i've officially fucked a sailor, a policeman and a biker. I've never noticed my Village People fetish until now...
You distracted them by dancing on the stripper pole, I ripped the flag off the wall, stuffed it in my pants and we were out.
Sober me does NOT approve of what went on in my pants last night.
I might have been the first person to be rolling balls at a referee seminar
Well his ex just grabbed his dick and told him yep Ill call u later
I plan on just grabbing someone's dick if I have to. They will know what's up. Why else do you go to a bar alone on valentines day?
Yeah. I found my shirt from last night while walking back to the bar to get my purse/phone this morning. I'm never going to even ask what actually happened. Be glad you moved 7 states away.
She said she didn't feel right fucking on her parents dining room table I grabbed the only thing around bubblewrap she blew me for creativity
I called 911 when they kicked me out of the bar last night.
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
I have like three friends I don't have sex with, what did you expect
he called her and asked for me. he wants to do dinner and a movie
her booty call wants to take you to dinner?
Randomize
