We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
The party tonight has no theme but I decided to go as a home wrecker.
then for some reason i googled "how much to buy a cannon"
Had her hockey skates on in the house. Whole floor is ruined.
Just violated the laws of fuck-buddyship and talked to him about my personal life. I don't like it.
security doesn't like it when we pee on cars. or maybe just not theirs?
I know you're trying to keep the moaning to a minimum but the banging on the wall is totally giving you away
Still trying to wash and scratch the glitter off of my dick. That stripper should be banned.
I may or may not have shit out a layer of my liver after that weekend.
That last minute feeling of hesitation on whether I should bring my health card to the bar usually means I'm in for a good night.
I want to be your penis for a week.
I may or may not have pissed on my floor last night
Welcome to 22
She's sent me the same nudes using the same gestures and positions... It's like she has a template for her sluty-ness
he was wearing pj pants, thank you for not letting me go home with him
I sort of feel bad for this orthodontist. The things that have been in my mouth in the past 12 hours aren't exactly socially acceptable.
Randomize