he just referred to himself as the billy mays of his frat.. heres how to order
If I was doing exactly what I wanted right now I would be getting fucked on a jet ski while listening to "When Love Takes Over" by Kelly Rowland while eating french fries.
Just wondering why in an apartment full of stoners there is half a waffle in the TRASH CAN. get ur shit together man
I've never watched DWTS before, but this show's got Pamela Anderson, Erin Andrews and Brooke Burke: 3 of my top 10 all time most masturbated to women.
my feelings for you are synonymous with those of a grizzly bear and salmon. i don't want to nom on you; but i need you to survive
you're acting like its my fault you're allergic to sperm or something.
i told you we never speak of that again
you made me have a moment of silence for the half of a sub sandwich that you dropped on the floor earlier
Soooo, if his status went from married to single and he deleted all the pictures of his kids does that mean he's up for dibbs?
It's been so long since i rode in a trunk. I'm riding in a trunk btw
We're attempting to get a tally of how may people puked last night...Please respond with your vomit status.
I'm in the Wal Mart stall where we found out you weren't pregnant. This is where I'm going to propose to you. I feel like that would be the most romantic
I dont care how high you are "yes" is not the correct response to "what do you want from Taco Bell" Mom.
I needed tweezers to get my thong out of my ass this morning.
I ran into a wall that clearly had things popping out. My eyebrow was bruised, both arms, the bottom of my foot. Lost half of my finger nail, my fake eyelash was stuck in my hair and I have about 47 blurry pictures of a half naked zombie DJ.
You have no concept of how high I am, do you?
Randomize
